People have been asking me lately how I’ve lost weight. I’m not terribly skinny, so I usually say that I started eating healthier and working out. The truth is, I started smoking again and stopped eating.
Extremely disappointed in myself. I purged five times in the last two days. Was on the road to recovery but now I don’t know were I am. I yearn for the brief intense euphoria I experience when I am finished. I am so conflicted, I want to get better but I can’t stop. I won’t stop.
40675) Maybe I'm too fat for an eating disorder.
confessionsabouteatingdisorders: I can’t last more than a day starving, and sometimes I can just eat like a normal person. Those are the times when I think, maybe, I’m just a drama queen. But when I’m hanging over the toilet, eyes watering, fingers down my throat, punishing myself… That’s not normal. The way I view things, people, food.. I just don’t even know.